


How rare and beautiful it is that we exist

by WritingWarships



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood Loss, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt, It is Klance, M/M, Mild Blood, OT5, OT7, The other tagged relationships are friendships, Will I ever stop with the angst?, again it is late as fuck pls save me, fight me, i love him so much, keith is so important???, kinda???, nothing really graphic tho dont worry, or maybe not, the answer is no, who will know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingWarships/pseuds/WritingWarships
Summary: Keith is dying and leaves one final message (???)





	1. Courage of Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Haha, what am I even doing  
> The title is inspired by the song 'Saturn' from Sleeping At Last.

Keith was not sure how long he had been sitting there when he accepted that no one was coming for him.

He tried to sit up straighter, flinching as he felt the aching pain in his side. He took a few shaky breaths before forcing himself to look down. It was bad. The stream of blood was flowing steadily down his stomach and waist. He silently cursed under his breath, it had been going so well.

It was supposed to be a surprise attack on one of the most important Galra bases. However, somehow they had expected the Paladins their attack. They were ready and waiting for them. Flashes of purple laser beams had filled the sky, but team Voltron had managed to get through. They all had been focused on one and the same thing, _destroy the base_.

The fighting inside was easier than expected. The soldiers were no match for them, falling down one by one, and that was when Keith should have known. He should’ve known it was a trap. But he had realised it too late.

He had been separated from the rest of his team, distracting one of the stronger Galra soldiers, and that’s when it all went wrong. He had been forced into a corner and during his last attempt to fight them all off, he had been shot. The feeling of pain spread through his whole body as he fell to his knees, still trying to fight the soldiers. One had kicked him down, and when he hadn’t moved afterwards they had all left, probably assuming he was bleeding too much to survive anyway.

They were right.

And that’s how he ended up here, sitting against some sort of control panel which he had smashed to little pieces in his last attempt to be somewhat helpful in this mission. At least the wound still hurt like a bitch, which meant he wasn’t exactly dying yet.

He groaned silently. The noises of battle had faded away a long time ago, and Keith couldn’t help but feel scared. He wasn't one to be scared easily, but in his opinion he had every right to be so at that moment. Either his friend had left the base safely, or they had been captured and maybe even worse...

Keith strongly hoped it wasn’t the latter.

His friends. Not just his teammates. They had all grown so close, Keith would call them family. It was the only one he ever had anyway. They were the only ones he actually cared about. But now the chance he would ever see them again was miniscule.

Keith threw a look at his helmet next to him. It had somehow survived all of the attacks, but the communication device in it had been broken. The only thing he could do was wait. For what, he was not sure. Maybe his friends would come back, maybe Red would find a way towards him, or maybe death would be the first to get to him.

He wasn’t afraid of death, not really. The thing was that he finally had something worth living for, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to let that go.

Not like he had much of a choice either way.

He hoped he had at least made his family proud. Closing his eyes, he pictured them all, standing in the dinner room of the castle, laughing about some bad joke Lance made. It were moments like those that he really appreciated.

Keith sighed and leaned back against the broken control panel again. He was ready.

After sitting like that for a few moments, he slowly opened his eyes again. Okay, he was not completely dying yet, his body still not giving up. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Death gave him reassurance, he knew what would happen (except for the whole ‘what comes after death?’ part, but nevermind that). But waiting without anything happening? It only gave him false hope. Hope that his friends would find him in time, hope that they’d come back, hope that he didn’t have to die.

Keith reached out his arm in the hope he could stretch it enough to reach his helmet. After a few painful tries he finally succeeded and grabbed the damn thing. Going through the wires and the broken communication device, he finally found what he was searching for.

He held up the little recorder thing to inspect it. It seemed unharmed. That meant he could speak in a message. He could tell the others his goodbye, that is, if they ever found him. But it was worth the try.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself before pressing some buttons and fumbling with the wires till he saw a small, red light flickering to life. Pidge would be proud of him. He couldn’t help but let out a soft and low chuckle. After another breath he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“So, ehm... Hello everyone. Or, well, I guess this is goodbye...”


	2. With shortness of breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Big Sean voice* boiii

It was quiet and Lance didn’t like it one bit.

After fleeing from the Galra base and coming to the conclusion that Keith was not with them, and that he wasn’t responding through their coms, everybody got worried. Lance and Pidge had immediately tried to move towards the base again in their lions, but Shiro had stopped them, saying that if they went back now they all would end up injured. Nobody commented on the heavily implied continuation of that sentence; _“or dead.”_

They had to wait till everything had calmed down a little, and it was absolute torture. They didn’t know anything. Where was Keith? Was he injured? Was he unconscious? Was he... No. That couldn’t be it.

After Shiro finally gave the signal to move in again, they gave their everything. It actually was a brilliant plan. No one expected a second ambush so quickly after the first one. They had split up to cover more ground and to find Keith as quickly as possible.

Pidge had been the one to stumble upon his lifeless body.

Just thinking back to her broken voice through their coms made Lance’s heart break.

 _“Guys! I found him! He- shit.”_ It had been silent on Pidge’s end of the com after those words while the others were yelling at her, asking what was wrong. She had finally answered after what felt like an hour but what in reality probably had been only half a minute.

 _"There- There’s so much blood. He’s still breathing but I don’t know for how long."_ Her voice broke during the last sentence. _"There is so much blood.”_

 _“Pidge, it’s okay. Take a deep breath and tell us where you are.”_ Shiro’s voice was shaky but he still managed to sound collected and calm.

 _“I’m in some sort of control room. It’s near the back entrance.”_ They had heard her inhale sharply before she spoke again, her voice small. _“Please hurry up, there’s so much blood. God, it’s everywhere. I-”_

Lance had sped up even more as he heard the first of what would be many sobs that evening. When he arrived at the control room, Pidge was going with her hands through Keith’s hair and was quietly shushing at him. The shushing was probably more meant for herself than for him. She looked up at Lance with a tear stained face and Lance stopped in his tracks to take everything in. Pidge had been right, there was blood _everywhere_.

Hunk had arrived before Shiro, and had taken it upon himself to carefully pick up Keith.

 _“Shiro, we got him. Where are you?”_ Hunk’s question had been answered by Allura who informed them that Shiro had ran into a few Galra soldiers and was currently fighting them. Shiro had answered a few seconds later himself.

_“It’s okay guys. I’m done. Go to your lions, we need to get Keith into a healing pod as soon as possible.”_

And that’s how Hunk had ended up running through the base with Keith in his arms, while Lance and Pidge gave him cover and attacked every Galra soldier they saw.

They now were standing in front of Keith’s healing pod and everything was quiet. It was a heavy, uncomfortable quiet that needed to be broken but no one had it in them to do it.

Lance looked around. Pidge still had blood on her hands and on her face and her knees and _shit_ , the blood was everywhere indeed. It was on Hunk’s arms and chest who was biting his nails anxiously, it was on Shiro’s hands, it had soaked into the bottom of Allura’s dress, it was on Keith’s suit that was lying on the ground next to the healing pod and Lance _couldn’t breathe._

He gasped for fresh air but all he felt was a heavy weight pushing down on his lungs. He ripped off the helmet he was still wearing, trying to get more space. His breaths became quicker and more shallow but Lance needed more. He needed more air because he just couldn’t breathe. It was only when his vision became blurry and he felt something wet roll down his cheek, that he realised he was crying. He quickly rubbed his eyes in the hope no one had noticed but everyone was already looking at him.

“Lance-” Shiro trailed off as he took a step in his direction but Lance just took one back.

His breathing sped up again and before he knew it he was full out sobbing. He tried to muffle the heart wrenching sounds in his arm but it was of no use. Lance wanted to scream. He wanted to scream until he had no voice left and everything around him had disappeared. But it wouldn’t just disappear so he just cried harder and opted for burying his hands in his hair. It was then that he felt two arms circled around his waist and when he looked down he saw Pidge burying her face in his chest, quietly sobbing herself.

Lance brought his arms down and pulled her closer, his tears falling down his face and in her hair.

“It’s going to be okay. He is going to be okay.” Pidge kept repeating the words till Lance had calmed down a little.

When he finally looked up again he saw Hunk with tears spilling from his eyes, no sound leaving his mouth. Lance gestured for him to join them and Hunk quickly scooped them both up in his arms.

Shiro was looking at them with sad eyes while Allura had placed her hand on his shoulder. When she spoke up her voice was crystal clear and Lance never had felt that much respect for her as in that moment.

“Pidge is right. Keith’s vitals may be low, but we all know him. He is going to get through this.”

Shiro nodded at her and  Lance felt like he could breathe a little better again.

“Of course he is, the stubborn bastard.” Lance managed to say as he chuckled softly against Hunk’s shoulder. “We still have some unfinished competitions left.” That brought a smile to everyone their faces.

Pidge and Lance were soon enough released from Hunk’s bear hug when they heard Coran speak up.

“No wonder he couldn’t contact us. His whole helmet is ruined.” The smears of red on the already red helmet made for a disturbing sight.

Pidge walked up to Coran and took the helmet from him. “I should probably fix this, you know. For when he wakes up.”

Shiro placed a gentle hand on Pidge’s shoulder. “Thank you Pidge.”

She nodded at him and moved to walk out of the room when she stopped dead in her tracks.

“Guys?”

Everyone turned to look at her as she stared down at the helmet before pulling something out of it.

“What is it Pidge?” Pidge swallowed before looking at Allura and showing the thing in her hand.

“Do you have something we can play the recording with?” Allura seemed to understand and nodded before power walking out of the room.

“I’m sorry, but am I the only one who would like to know what is going on?” Hunk looked around questioning as Pidge let out a shaky breath.

“It- It seems that Keith recorded something.” She held up a tiny metal box with wires sticking out of it. “I think it may be a message to, well, us.”

The room went silent as their minds went to the same questions. What could be on it? What could Keith have said that was so important it required recording?

It was that moment Allura ran in again and handed Pidge something that looked a suspicious lot like a speaker. Pidge immediately made work of it.

Soon an all too familiar voice sounded through the room and everyone collectively held their breath.

A soft, low chuckle was heard before the voice actually spoke up. “So, ehm... Hello everyone. Or, well, I guess this is goodbye...”


	3. Explaining the infinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Angst and crying. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, listen. This got way out of hand but it's late and it has been too long since I updated, so I'm planning on adding more chapters. Till then, take whatever this is. (Also this became way more klangst than I planned on so I hope y'all don't mind!)  
> I'm starting to dislike my writing more and more, which is also a big part of why the updates are so late (that and school). So I want to say sorry in advance.

The heavy and uncomfortable silence had returned to the room.

Everyone was looking at each other with big and surprised eyes, equally gleeful and terrified about hearing Keith’s voice again.

 _“I’m not sure how to- I don’t know what to say exactly,”_ Keith swallowed thickly, _“but if there’s a chance that this may be the last thing you’ll hear of me, then I guess I’m going to be completely honest.”_

No one wanted to think about what his words implied, a heavy dread already hanging over them.

 _“Allura,”_ Keith paused for a second and Allura froze for a second before she looked up at the speaker with a determined expression. _“I have so much respect for you. All the things you went through, all the stuff you had to handle at such a young age, and now this stuff with trying to make five random teenagers form Voltron? Your title may be ‘princess’, but in my eyes you are a queen. Just stay the way you are. You're always so strong and focused, and you know what you want and you’ll do anything to achieve it.”_

A single tear rolled down Allura’s cheek as both Shiro and Coran moved to comfort her, laying a soft hand on both of her shoulders.

 _“I- I respect that. I aspired to be like that some day. Thank you for taking care of us and trying to get the best out of us all. And I know what I’m about to say may sound weird but-”_ Keith sighed before slightly lowering his voice. _“You’re the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had, and I want to thank you for that. Thank you for everything.”_

Tears were streaming down Allura’s face but she refused to let out a sound. Shiro pulled her against his chest while both Hunk and Coran rubbed comforting circles on her back. Pidge worried her bottom lip between her teeth till she tasted the copper taste of blood in her mouth. Lance pulled her closer against his side, his arm slung over her shoulders, not even flinching when she grabbed his hand tightly.

 _“Coran, oh where do I even start?”_ Keith chuckled softly and it was quiet for a moment before he continued. _“You took us all in together with Allura and you gave your everything. You made us food, you made sure our bedrooms were ready, you did so much for us. I almost can’t believe you did all that just out of the goodness of your heart and out of respect for the princess, but I do. Because that’s just the kind of person you are, and I feel so honoured to have met you, even if your food goo isn’t my first thought when I think of a delicious meal.”_

Everyone smiled softly. Hunk had moved from Allura to Coran, patting the older man reassuringly on the back. Coran smiled bravely at him, and he may not have been crying but Lance could swear he saw his eyes glistening in the bright lights of the room.

 _“Oh, and before I forget about it, you_ _honestly have one of the best moustaches I have ever seen.”_

Coran’s smile grew wider and looked more genuine than before. Everyone had moved to stand close to one another, finding comfort in being together and being able to just see each other breathe.

Suddenly a loud groan was heard and they all looked at the speaker in anxious anticipation.

“He- he sounds like he’s in a lot of pain.” Pidge tried to stop her bottom lip from trembling by biting down on it again. “Do you think he still is?” Pidge’s voice was smaller than they had ever heard so Lance pulled her closer and looked at Shiro with pleading eyes.

Shiro nodded softly and crouched down so he could look up at Pidge. “We don’t know Pidge. But you know, as long as he feels pain he’s still alive. And that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

She nodded before pushing her glasses further up her nose. Shiro smiled sadly at her when suddenly Keith began speaking again.

 _“Ah, I’m sorry guys. Please don’t feel bad for me, it doesn’t hurt that much.”_ They heard the rustle of clothes and another loud grunt, implying that it _did_ hurt that much.

 _“And I'm sure I still look way better than Lance does on a regular day. Anyways, where was I?”_ after a soft inhale, Keith’s voice sounded louder and more clear, _”Hunk.”_

Hunk gulped loudly, only to look down when Pidge placed a comforting hand on his upper arm.

 _“Hunk I would literally take a bullet for you.”_  Keith deadpanned. But still, the statement sounded completely truthful.

_“You are one of the nicest persons I’ve ever known. You always help everyone out, you try your hardest to help when needed and you just do what needs to be done. You only forget yourself sometimes. Don’t do that, okay? Take good care of yourself buddy.”_

Hunk was crying again, his big frame curling into himself while violently shaking. Pidge was the first to wrap her arms around his neck and soon Lance followed by wrapping his arms around the shoulders of his best friend and Pidge. Shiro, Allura and Coran joined in, everyone wanting to comfort Hunk who couldn’t seem to stop shaking.

 _“And you’re not only kind, but you’re also really smart! Sometimes when I hear you and Pidge talk my head starts to hurt but the next morning you two show up with some kind of amazing invention, and even though I will never be able to do that, I respect it so much. I don’t know how many times your inventions have saved all of our asses. Thank you for being a true and good friend, I don’t think I can ever tell you how much that means to me.”_ There was a soft sniffling noise and Lance just knew there were tears streaming down Keith’s cheeks while recording this.

Hunk shook his head through it all, muttering incoherent words into Lance’s shoulder who pulled him as close as their armour allowed them to be.

 _“And then we have Pidge. Oh Pidge, you little genius.”_ He chuckled softly but it was broken off in the middle by a loud sob. _“Shit, I’m- I’m sorry.”_ Deep breaths were heard, an attempt of Keith trying to calm himself down, before another sob came. And another one. And another one.

The sound of Keith trying to talk while crying was one of the worst things Lance had ever heard. He imagined Keith sitting all alone in that cold room, covered in blood, talking to the com in the hope that they would find him even though no one came. Lance couldn’t stop the own sounds that escaped his own mouth as he tried to stop his crying.

 _“I’m sorry, just let me-”_ Keith inhaled shakily before slowly breathing out. After repeating this a few times he seemed to have collected himself once again.

 _“Sorry for that. I’m okay now.”_ He took another deep breath. _“So, Pidge. If I’m being honest, I didn’t exactly know what to think of you when we first met. You had this kind of secretive aura around you, but we all soon found out what that was about. You started to surprise me with everything you did, said or made, and you never stopped surprising me. You are so amazing. The determination you have to find and rescue your family is admire worthy, and I actually really look up to you. Even if you’re, like, half my size.”_

Pidge scoffed softly at that but she didn’t mean it. She and Hunk were sobbing into each other’s arms with the rest of the team around them in an attempt to comfort the two.

_“You are also super smart and you never cease to amaze me. I’m- I always got this odd kind of feeling of wanting to protect you. And I know that’s absolute bullshit because you can handle yourself just fine, but the thing is that you shouldn’t have to. Pidge, you’re 14 and you already have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you lost a big part of your family. I don’t know how you do it, but you just keep on going. And if I want to say one thing to you, it is just that. Keep going Pidge, you can do it, just keep going. If anyone has a chance to find their family in outer space, it’s you.”_

Pidge had pulled away from Hunk and moved towards the healing pod Keith was currently in. She placed her hand on the glass and closed her eyes. Her words were barely a whisper.

“Thank you.”

Everyone could hear Keith’s soft and comforting voice as his next words came out of the speaker. _“And Shiro, don’t worry. You and Pidge will find them, I’m sure of that.”_

Shiro looked surprised for a second before he smiled softly. He moved to stand next to Pidge and placed his hand gently on top of hers, nodding at the sleeping Keith. Pidge looked up at him and they shared the most genuine smile Lance had seen that evening.

_“I’m saying this as a friend and someone who cares about you, but Shiro... You really need to stop worrying so much. It comes in handy on the battlefield or when someone has a problem, but if you’ll frown anymore than you already do, you will have wrinkles at 25 and be grey at 28.”_

That drew a laugh out of Lance, and Shiro looked genuinely surprised before chuckling along softly.

_“But I guess what I really want to say is: Thank you. Thanks to your worrying you’ve saved my ass multiple times, getting me out of tricky situations. Even more so in the past than in the previous few months. Thank you for being there for me when I had nobody else and thank you for trying to get me onto the right path. You’re like the Team Dad or something. More like the Team Big Bro actually, now I think about it. You help all of us so much, but just like Hunk you sometimes forget about yourself or you just simply ignore it. Don’t do that.”_

Shiro was still looking at Keith through the glass as the recording played. His eyes were glassy and if someone saw a few tears fall down on the ground, no one would mention it. It was clear as day that he tried to stay strong for them.

_“We all care a lot about you too, don’t forget that. So get some help for your nightmares already, damnit. It’s no wonder you don’t get enough sleep.”_

Shiro froze as the rest let their eyes fall on him.

Pidge had placed her hand on his bicep, muttering softly to him, “Shiro, it’s okay. It‘s okay.”

He shook his head and kept shaking it until the rest of his body was shaking too and he was cradling his face in his arms. The heart wrenching sobs that left his mouth grew louder and louder as Pidge kept on rubbing comforting circles on his arm and the small of his back.

“It’s okay. It will be okay.” Lance didn’t know how Pidge still had it in her to sound this collected and comforting after everything that had happened, especially considering she had been crying just a minute ago.

Shiro rested his head against the healing pod as he attempted to get his breathing in order again, nodding along to Pidge’s words.

_“Just take care, okay? I don’t know what will happen, but please, take care of yourself. And again, thank you for everything.”_

Lance couldn’t help but hold his breath. He was the last one left. Keith would finally say what he actually thought of Lance.

Just when he thought Keith was about to speak, another sound came out of the speaker. It was hard and it was violent. Shooting.

_“Shit! What the-”_

More shooting.

They all listened as Keith cried out in pain and the shooting continued. Keith’s screams filled the room and Lance couldn’t take it. He put his hands over his ears and moved away from the speaker as far as possible, his back hitting the opposite wall. He shook his head, trying to ignore the horrible sounds as he fought back tears.

Quiet.

Everything was suddenly quiet.

Lance looked up, only to see the others as surprised as he was. There was no sound coming out of the speaker. No voice. It was the end of the recording.

He slowly slid down the wall, bringing his knees to his chest before burying his face in them. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t just be the end of the recording. The end of Keith.

“Lance? Buddy?” Hunk had moved closer to him as everyone eyed him sympathetically and with sad looks in their eyes.

Lance just shook his head. He wanted this all to go away. He wanted to be home again, with his mother who would give him some hot chocolate and bury him beneath blankets to make sure he was comfortable. He didn’t want to be in a room full of broken people, covered in blood and grief, on a space ship far away from earth. He felt it again.

He couldn’t breathe.  

Hunk tried to move his hands over Lance but Lance pushed him away harshly. He needed more space. He needed the fresh air of home after it had rained the whole day. He needed peace and happiness. He needed _Keith_.

“Lance? Hey, look at me.” Shiro had also inched closer and forced Lance with his voice to look him in the eyes. Shiro’s eyes were red and puffy and Lance imagined his own to look the same.

“It’s okay. Just breathe.”

Lance shook his head. Didn’t they understand that he was trying? He tried to breathe but he just couldn’t get any air in his lungs. “You- You don’t understand.” His voice was shaky and rough, and his throat felt like sandpaper. It was as if he had constantly screamed for the past few minutes.

“You all got to hear from him. He told you- he told you everything!” A sob escaped Lance’s mouth. “And then- then he just had to go and get himself killed! He- What if-” More sobs spilled from Lance’s lips.

“Lance-”

Lance felt frustrated and sad at the same time and all he wanted to do was find a place to be alone. “What if he’s actually dead!? We will never fucking see him again. He will be gone. He will never talk to us again, he will never sleep with his fucking boots on anymore, he will never be able to help us! Do you realise that!?”

“I do.”

Lance looked up again and felt the guilt wash over him as he saw how broken Shiro looked. “Shit. I’m sorry Shiro, I didn’t mean it like that. I just- I don’t-” He took a shaky breath. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“I know Lance, It’s okay. I know.” He pulled Lance to his chest. “I don’t want to lose him either.”

That was the moment the dam inside of Lance broke. His sight became foggy so he opted for burying his head in Shiro’s shoulder. His entire body was shaking but he just let it happen. He allowed the tears to escape his eyes and fall down on Shiro’s. He let the sounds that were threatening to come out of his mouth free. He let the thoughts spill over in his head, only focusing on one. _What would Keith have said to him?_

The comforting hands in his hair and on his back helped him regain his breathing again, but he didn’t let go. Not yet.

The only sound in the room was him softly sniffing and murmuring words against Shiro’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time.


	4. Light carries on endlessly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil angst and a teeny meeny lil bit of fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, uhm, sorry?  
> Please reread chapter 3 before reading this one. I changed the ending so it would fit better in my new idea for this story.

It had been two weeks since they found Keith and put him in a healing pod. They couldn’t be sure when he would come out, his injuries too grave to be able to tell. At least, that’s what Coran had told them.

Most of them had found some routine in their daily lifes again, either practicing the whole day, tinkering on new aparature, or trying to take care of the others. They all brought some visits to Keith from time to time, either to just take a look and see how he was doing, or to sit next to him and to talk. That was, except for Lance.

Lance couldn’t stand to look at Keith for more than a few seconds. He looked too lifeless, too quiet, too… _dead_. Lance just couldn’t do it. The fact that there was a chance that this was the only state he might ever see Keith in was too harrowing. So he kept his visits short, only going there for the rest of the team. The amount of times he had thrown a blanket around Hunk or Shiro when they were sitting next to the pod was too much to count. He had carried a sleeping Pidge back to her room at least six times already, and he had shared many hot chocolates with Coran.

The only one who didn’t visit that much either was the princess. She seemed to feel really guilty, and when Lance had tried to talk about it with her she just completely shut down. He couldn’t blame her.

Shiro seemed to train a lot more, and more often than not, Lance would join him. They would train untill all they could do was fal down on the ground and try to regain their breathing.

They were all coping in their own ways, the one a little less healthy than the other, but they were coping.

 

* * *

 

Keith smiled at the rest of the team, really smiled. One of his less than frequent smiles, which would only come to surface at the happiest of moments. It was breathtaking.

Lance just stared right back at him, utterly captivated by Keith and his smile. That was, untill Keith turned towards Lance. The smile immediatle fell from his face. _“Why Lance? Why didn’t you come to visit me?”_

Lance tried to shake his head, but he couldn’t move.

_“Was I not worthy enough of your visits? Did you not think I would notice?”_

Lance wanted to reach out and touch him, he really did, but he _couldn’t_. He couldn’t move a single muscle in his body.

_“Why would you do that Lance, don’t you care about me?”_

He tried to scream, ‘ _Yes of course I care about you!_ ’, but it was of no use.

The rest of the team had dissapeared and it was just Keith and Lance now. But it wasn’t Keith, not really. It was some twisted version of Keith, staring right through Lance, a sad look on his face.

_“Why weren’t you there for me? Why didn’t you rescue me?”_

Lance tried to tell him that he had wanted too, but his mouth still wouldn’t open.

Keith shook his head and looked down at his feet, and Lance felt _miserable_. Keith looked genuinely upset.

He finally could find enough strength in himself to speak, “I’m sorry, I wanted too. I really did. I just- I just couldnt!”

Keith’s head shot up at his words, but it wasn’t Keith that was looking at him. It was something much darker, it was like Keith’s face had been swallowed up by a black hole and only his eyes remained, turning yellow and being a stark contrast to the dark background.

Lance tried to take a step backwards as not-Keith moved towards him, but he still couldn’t move his legs. Darkness started to evelop him, and all Lance could do was scream.

That’s how he woke up, drenched in sweat and tears streaming down his face. He tried to calm down his breathing and gather his thoughts, but he just ended up being more panicked. He felt so guilty for not visiting Keith in his pod. How selfish was he, really, not visiting his sick friend because he _felt a little uncomfortable_. Lance buried his face in his hands and stayed like that for some time. When he felt himself regaining some composure, he dropped his hands and stared at the ceiling. Going through all the options in his head left him feeling even more guilty, and that is how he found himself in the medical bay at 3 am, staring at Keith’s real body.

Lance couldn’t decide which one was worse, dream-Keith or lifeless-Keith.

He sighed and let himself drop next to the pod. He pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his arms on his knees.

“I’m sorry Keith. I really am.” His voice was soft, and shaky, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. “It’s not that I don’t want to visit you, I just can’t-” He trailed off, trying to find the right words. “Seeing you like this is too much. And I know that sounds stupid, because you are the one whose life is in danger, not me, but it _hurts_. It hurts seeing you like this. I can’t loose you too.” He never once looked at Keith’s body while speaking, just staring straight ahead. “I care too much about you to let you go. So please, _please_ , wake up man. We need you.”

Lance took in a shaky breath, feeling very tired all of sudden. He threw a last look at Keith before murmuring, “ _I_ need you.”

Before he knew it his eyes had closed, and he was sleeping against the healing pod, neck in an awkward angle, and tears still on his face.

 

* * *

 

Lance groaned as he sat up straight, massaging the back of his neck. His whole body hurt. Probably from sleeping in a weird angle on the cold floor. How did he even fall asleep like that? This thought reminded Lance of the way he had woken up, and he quickly looked at the pod he had previously been leaning against.

It was shaking.

It was properly shaking, like it could combust at any second.

Lance felt panick rising up his throath as he quickly stood up and stumbled a few steps backwards, watching the pod with a worried look on his face.

_What was going on? Was Keith okay? Maybe he should call someone, Coran probably knew what to-_

His thoughts were cut off when the pod suddenly stopped shaking. He eyed it suspicoiusly, but then the pod opened and Keith’s body fell forward. Lance was just in time to catch him in his arms.

_Holy shit, what the fuck was going on, is Keith waking up, should I call the others, what-_

That’s when he heard a small voice behind him. “Lance?”

He looked over his shoulder and saw Pidge looking at him, not entirely comprehending the situation yet.

“Pidge, go get the others. Quickly.” She seemed to get the message, nodding firmly and running away after she took a quick look at Keith.

Lance gently took Keith’s wrist in his hand and checked for his pulse. It was there, soft and slow, but it was there. Lance wondered if that meant that-

“Long time no seen.”

Lance looked down at Keith, who was smiling up at him, eyes still closed.

 _“Keith.”_ Lance put all of his feelings in Keith’s name, and he already felt his eyes start to water again. “How- Are you- I missed you so much.” His hands were shaking as he gently moved Keith’s, now-even longer, hair out of his face.

“I missed you too.” He slowly opened his eyes, blinking up at Lance. His voice was soft, almost no more than a whisper. “I’m okay Lance. I’m okay.”

Lance sighed in relief before smiling brightly. “Yes. Yes you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!   
> I'm so, so, so sorry for not updating this fic any earlier! I wish I had a good reason for it, but it has honestly just been a wild year for me. I've had writersblock for so long and I couldn't get through it.   
> I want to thank everyone who left nice messages for me about this fic, it helped me so much. All these messages finally got me to write again, and although this is not my best work, I'm glad I did it. I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out, but it's better than nothing! I'm so gratefull for everyone who has been reading and supporting my writing. You guys are the real MVPS. I love you all, and thank you for sticking around.  
> Come yell at/with me on my Tumlblr @thatdamfangirl

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I'll try to update as soon as possible! Hit me up on [my Tumblr](http://thatdamfangirl.tumblr.com/)


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